[saymaListserv] A Dangerous Cult In Our Midst (just humor)

Janet Minshall jhminshall at comcast.net
Sun Jul 25 20:09:12 JEST 2004

July 10, 2004

Subject:   Mathematicians are Democrats

   At Phoenix Sky Harbor airport today, an individual later discovered
to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule,
and a calculator.  At a morning press conference, Attorney General
John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious
al-Gebra movement.  He is being charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction.

**"Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire aver-
age solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in a search of absolute value.  They use secret code
names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but
we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the
axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.  As the Greek
philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every

   When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If
G-d had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction,
He would have spoken to me about it and given us more fingers
and toes."

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