[saymaListserv] Fwd: Political chicken humor

free polazzo freepolazzo at comcast.net
Wed May 19 07:23:53 JEST 2004


Hi Everyone,

Time to laugh at ourselves!


>             Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
>
>
>             GEORGE W. BUSH
>
>
>
>             We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.  We
>just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
>The chicken is either against us or for us.  There is no middle ground
>here.
>
>
>
>               COLIN POWELL
>
>              Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satel-
>lite image of the chicken crossing the road.
>
>
>
>               HANS BLIX
>
>              We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
>not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
>
>
>
>               JOHN KERRY
>
>              Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
>now against it!
>
>
>
>               RALPH NADER
>
>              The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been
>
>polluted by unchecked industrial greed.  The chicken did not reach the
>
>unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
>by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
>
>
>
>               PAT BUCHANAN
>
>               To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>
>
>
>               RUSH LIMBAUGH
>
>               I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet
>it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
>that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help
>chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome.  Can you believe this?
>How much more of this can real Americans take?  Chickens crossing
>the road paid for by their tax dollars.  And when I say tax dollars, I'm
>talking about your money, money the government took from you to
>build a road for chickens to cross.
>
>
>
>               MARTHA STEWART
>
>               No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
>going.  I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
>when the price dropped to a certain level.  No little bird gave me any
>insider information.
>
>
>
>               JERRY FALWELL
>
>               Because the chicken was gay - isn't it obvious?  Can't you
>people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was
>going to the "other side."  That's what they call it the other side.
>Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.  And if you eat that chicken,
>you will become gay, too.  I say we boycott all chickens until we sort
>out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
>harmless phrases like "the other side."
>
>
>
>               DR SEUSS
>
>               Did the chicken cross the road?
>
>               Did he cross it with a toad?
>
>               Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
>
>               But why it crossed I've not been told.
>
>
>
>               ERNEST HEMINGWAY
>
>               To die in the rain.  Alone.
>
>
>
>               MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
>
>               I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
>roads without having their motives called into question.
>
>
>
>               GRANDPA
>
>               In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
>
>Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
>enough.
>
>
>
>               BARBARA WALTERS
>
>               Isn't that interesting?  In a few moments, we will be listen-
>ing to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story
>of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
>accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
>
>
>
>               JOHN LENNON
>
>               Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads 
> together -
>in peace.
>
>
>
>               ARISTOTLE
>
>               It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
>
>
>               KARL MARX
>
>               It was an historic inevitability.
>
>
>
>               RONALD REAGAN
>
>               What chicken?
>
>
>
>               CAPTAIN KIRK
>
>               To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
>
>
>
>               SIGMUND FREUD
>
>               The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
>crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
>
>
>
>               BILL GATES
>
>               I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only
>
>crossroads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
>balance your checkbook, - and Internet Explorer is an integral part
>of eChicken.
>
>
>
>               ALBERT EINSTEIN
>
>               Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
>
>beneath the chicken?
>
>
>
>               BILL CLINTON
>
>               I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.  What is your
>
>definition of chicken?
>
>
>
>               AL GORE
>
>               I invented the chicken!
>
>
>
>               THE BIBLE
>
>               And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the
>chicken: THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross
>the road, and there was rejoicing.
>
>
>
>               COLONEL SANDERS
>
>               Did I miss one?
>
>*****
>
>

Free

"The greatest ally of injustice is silence"  




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